We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
