do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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