I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
