When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
