sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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