I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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