I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
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