You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
