Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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