The maid of honor just puked.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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