just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
