so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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