I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
