The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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