Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
last night I used snow as a chaser
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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