Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
