Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He better not be in your backpack
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
