hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
zippers are such a cool invention
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
