i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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