Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
