Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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