If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
