I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Semen is not good for contacts.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
