ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
