sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
All I want is dick and wine.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
