there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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