ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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