She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
