I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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