Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
