Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
