quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize