I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
