I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Girls should come with a carfax report
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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