I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize