She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
