we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
