It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
