I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
