I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
