Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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