if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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