you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
