Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
