Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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