Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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