can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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