Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
