Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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