Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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