im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
