since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
