okay pat passed out under dana's car
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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