I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
