Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
