There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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